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__really bad analogies

Ermilia

Sometimes when we are writing, we try to spruce up the story with a few analogies. Sometimes they’re good, and sometimes they are not so good. Here are some hilarious examples of really bad analogies. I doubt these are true analogies from high school students but I still thought this was a definite list to share. I can’t pick my favourite but #5 and #7 stood out for me!

– Ermisenda Alvarez

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HUMOR: SNOOPMOSES VS SANTA’S RAP

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Honey Baked Ham

So, I’ve been at my job for over a year now, and I can tell you one thing. I am not looking forward to the next two weeks. 
So most families that get together and have Christmas dinner usually want a ham, and where do a lot of these people go to get it? Honey Baked Ham. I had no idea how popular our product was until I was employed last year, and well, it’s not pretty. 7:00am – 8:00pm there is a non-stop line out the door, and usually up the street. The rumor is in the years before we’ve had security guards on patrol. 
I wouldn’t mind as much about this rush if people were’t so strange and rude about their hams, plus most come totally unprepared and we just can’t afford their stupidity with many customers waiting. 
I mean, you wouldn’t believe the things these people do! Sometimes I have to bring out five different hams because the others are’t “pretty” enough, and they end up choosing the first one I pulled out anyway! Like, c’mon. You’re going to eat it, not take it out on a date. 
And then you have those people who think they know everything about the product, how to serve it, how it’s made, how long it will keep in your refrigerator / freezer. These are the worst, the ones who tell you that they are right, and you are wrong. I just can not stand when a customer tries to pick a fight with me just because I am telling them about the product, what and what not to do. Like, really. Are you the one with a job here? I don’t think so. 
AND you have the people who are so incredibly moronic. 
So ok. The set up at my work during the holiday season and off season is a little different. 
During the holidays we move all of the tables out of the store and set up guards to direct the flow of incoming customers up to a counter where five to seven people are helping customers, no registers are here. You can clearly see that they are along side of the wall by the exit, but people still don’t fail to hand me their credit cards after finding their ham. LIKE DO YOU SEE A FUCKING REGISTER HERE? NO. 

I couldn’t stop myself from rambling. 

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Free Your Mind

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Color Me Happy.

Katy Kelleher

street_art_yarn_crochet_1I adore street art, and I own about a thousand knitted items—though I can’t seem to get into knitting… too much commitment! And I don’t have enough patience—so it makes perfect sense that I freaking love this. Guerrilla art, girly and totally awesome. Found here.

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CROCHET TREE ART

YARN BOMBING

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YARN BOMBED BIKE ATOP A YARN BOMBED PALM TREE

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TREE ADORNED WITH CROCHET DOILY’S

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